Woman Gets Rude Awakening

A woman was sitting in the waiting room for her first appointment with a new dentist. She noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name. Suddenly, she remembered that a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in her high school class so many years ago. Could this be the same guy I had a crush on way back then? she wondered. She quickly discarded any such thought when she met the balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face. He's way too old to have been my classmate, she thought to herself. Still, after he examined her teeth, she asked, "Did you happen to attend Morgan Park High School?"
"Yes! I'm a Mustang," he gleamed with pride.
"When did you graduate?" she asked.
"1959," he replied. "Why do you ask?"
"You were in my class!" she exclaimed.
"Really?" he said, looking at her closely. "What did you teach?"

Bad Thinking

Three old men were at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor said to the first old man, "What is one plus one?" "Two hundred seventy-four," he replied. The doctor said to the second man, "It's your turn. What is one plus one?" "Tuesday," replied the second man. The doctor said to the third man, "Okay, your turn. What's one plus one?" "Two," said the third man. "That's great!" said the doctor. "How did you get that?" "Simple," said the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday."